inspired by the yoga for peace event, kala and i created sacred space and held ritual, calling in healing powers of light and love and all who suffer from war and violence. 

we called, and they came.

for four hours, we held space.  kala sang beautifully the mantra of eternal peace and love, om mani padme hum, while i prostrated my body in 108 sun salutations.  in the space, i envisioned women with me, women living in the throngs of greif and despair, groveling through rubbled dirt roads of a wartime land to scrape together food for their children.  i felt them.  i saw them.  i had to change the way i raised my arms in salutation in order to keep from hitting people in the face with the upstretch of my passing arms.  instead, i reached out, widely to each side, and embraced us all.

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in the first months here and riding my bicycle~a fantastic 3-speed competing with me for age, gifted me by my mother's dear friend carol, and adorned by me with a great basket on the back~i felt myself move through ghosts of my past, through unspoken tales and long-forgotten dreams.  they were everywhere.  then scotty died.  suddenly.  tragically.  i was thrust back into a family i once called my own, propelled by compassion and love to bring nourishing food to his grieving parents, to offer my respects to this family of which i was a part for four and a half years...about 15 or 20 years ago.  and in that space, amidst the budweisers and the legion post and the hunting camp and the reunions, i found myself making amends with the past, having conversations that were 15 and 20 years overdue.  sharing with people and learning from people our truths, our dreams, our souls.  our gift from scott.  somehow, i'm not surprised.

and now when i ride my bike, there are no ghosts, no chills, no dark and cool spots along the sunny road.  what remains is a clear ride, with familiar buildings and places singing with soft memories of another lifetime, of a childhood, of a community that lingers on.

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soon i'll flutter off again, and say goodbye to some amazing people.  some are blood, and some are spirit.  all are family.  it's been an amazing journey home.  so transformative.

and from here, to thailand.  to detoxify, to cleanse, to purify, to renew.  and then, to carry on.