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| welcome home |
| 08.12.05 (5:05 pm) [edit] |
|
...my two months of bliss in bhagsu culminated with my epic journey back to the u.s....it began with a 14-hour bus ride..we were onboard, waiting for departure on the under-construction ridgeside road out of town, when a car (not occupied) that was parked behind the bus lost its footing on the crumbling dirt shoulder and tumbled down the hill and onto antheer car...no one hurt, except the cars, but a great finale to that leg of my trip...i hoped only it wasn't a premonition of things to come! i chose the 'deluxe' bus for 600 rupees after hearing the tales of hell experienced by florrie, emma, and kate in their journey on the 400 rupee bus the week before (three days of dehli-belly instead of a wild time of clubbing was their fate), and usha's similar tale of dehli-belly just days before...getting dehli-belly and boarding an aircraft was not my idea of a good time, so i sprung for the nice bus with air shocks and ac. so, left at 8pm and arrived in dehli the next morning about 9:00am. went to the travel agent to get my ticket, not open yet, so i settled in for some chai at the chai shop opposite the travel agency. it was my last day in india, and i quite enjoyed having it begin with authentic chai with dehli locals. a day in dehli, then onto a flight for frankfurt, shared a morning coffee with a u.s. engineer contracted in iraq (amazing what stories people will tell you), a nice practice of reiki & yoga in the waiting area, then onward to boston where i was greeted by mom, sister carolyn, her daughter sarah, and a little surprise...a little sequinned fuschia cape donned by anne's 3 year-old daughter, hopi (hope). hopi hasn't remembered me from my previous visit (when she was 10 months old), so it was a memorable and wonderful reunion. onward to new hampshire for an evening reunion with the rest of the clan, and in the car to mom's...amidst extreme jetlag and travel exhaustion, i noticed my feet and ankles were extremely swollen~not a bone-protrusion in sight. then i realised that my body hadn't been vertical in three days. that'll do it. this was my 'short visit,' as anne and hopi named it, as i was off shortly to west virginia for the u.s. national rainbow gathering.... welcome home...this is what people say to you as you drive in, as you hike in with your pack, as you set up your camp, and move about your new home. two little words..and they mean so much. such a relief to hear those words, such a gift to express them to another. you don't feel out of place, you don't feel conspicuous, you feel like you've returned to the people~whether you know them yet or not~who love you and accept you just as you are. i was at the gathering early for precamp setup. in all, i was there three weeks. this was my reintroduction to america, and filled with culture shock~such as not understanding what people were saying, because they talked so quickly and words blended together. this was also my first gathering. a while back, after several failed attempts, i wrote a blog for you to share that experience. when i finally got it down, filled with the emotions, feelings, sensations, challenges, and lessons of my experience, and was feeling a bit vulnerable for what i had said, but had no way of expressing it differently while remaining genuine and honest, when i was finally ready to submit it for publishing, it bleeped off. i was shocked (as we always are when a lengthy writing permanently disappears from the screen), but then i realised, it wasn't meant to be published. it was my own process, too personal for a public forum. and so, i accepted this and knew the time would come when i could write about this gathering. that time is now, but i will tell you, my feelings remain. at rainbow, each person is accepted for who she is, where she is, and supported in her own journey in becoming all that she can and wants to be. i met people from countless facets of the diamond of american humanity, each presenting their own, unique gifts to share with the family, to share with one another,and each bringing their own challenges and areas needing growth. everyone had something to offer, and everyone had something to learn. this was my experience: belly-pained laughter, sobbing burning tears, inclusion, isolation, courage, fear, social comfort, social akwardness, boundless energy, endless fatigue, excellent food, not a thing to eat, inspiration, disappointment, solitude, suffocation, pleasure, anger, a burning desire to run away, a burning desire to never leave. and through it all, love love love love love love love love love love love....love like i have never known. love that hurt my heart, deep in my chest, love that made me want to yell, "stop loving so goddamn much!" really. so much love. we bathed like nymphs in the shallow pools of the streams, we ate in communion~thousands of people joining hands in circles, we hugged for five and ten minutes at a go for no reason except that it feels so friggin good, we watched the fireflies in the marshy meadow and felt we were looking at the stars from on top of the world. we shared stories and poetry and secrets and talents, we danced with the pounding heartbeat from collective drums...hippies, punks, rednecks, healers, mothers, addicts, hare krishnas, travelers, faeries, convicts, fathers, christians, forest rangers, babies, hillbillies, paegans, grandmas, and rainbow children. one family, one love. ......and so, the time came to say goodbye. i returned to new hampshire filled with love and satisfaction. i spent a month there, mostly with mom, also with neices, nephews, brother, sisters, b's in-law, sister-in law, and old friends, from different times when new hampshire was my home. time with mom was the greatest gift. we watched bewitched and ate chips ahoy, sat on the porch and hoped the dogs wouldn't run away, reminicsed about our days together in the early 70's~when no one else was home, spent her 65th (!) birthday at newfound lake, where she vacationed with her family as a child, and reconnected, like we haven't in a really, really long tiime. it was a really great visit. ...and now, in new york..at a small farmhouse with a rainbow sister and two rainbow brothers, waiting for another and then off to a nearby gathering. and then journey westward to meet yael in reno, then on to burning man, and beyond. hoping you're well~ lovin you, karin |
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 08.13.05 (3:26 pm)
Hi Karen. It's Brenda from Seoul. That last blog has clearly made my ache for home much bigger now. Oh my thanks for sharing. You have such a beautiful way of makeing the most consice description of your experience so pregnant with emotion. Have fun at burning man. Wish I was there.
B